Friday, December 31, 2004

hmm...had squash bbq yesterday and yes, it didn't rain! whaha`~ hmm...we reached around 3 and went to buy some stuff for the bbq.the squash guys are useless man. all they know is eating. they didn't help us with anything! ok...excluding faeez the camel. haa. the j2s came and bought some alcohol. yea and after drinking a cup i got pretty high. haa. we ate, talked about the-soon-to-be j2's life, said some ghost stories, tried to pull jenny into the pool but she was too strong, went to the playground, played some dumb games with jenny. haa. all in all, it was an awsome night though didnt manage to record the scene where yisheng was supposed to be thrown into the pool 'cuz of the stupid security guard.grumpz.still, was cool!..haa.

and...i'd bbq today. again. haa. was a gathering for the ex-npcc cadets held at school. i was told many would attend but when i reached there, it proved otherwise. diaoz~ mostly were from my batch la and we played some stupid game also. our batch most 2 muscular men then showed off their muscles which i find it...totally yucky.haa.eeeekk`~ anyway i didn't eat anything lar so shannon teo, i won't get fat. haa. 'cuz had marche treated by shannon teo. and shannon teo almost got me involved in some stupid thing. diaoz~ he still owes me a christmas present. haha. =p

such a cool day. heard 2 of my juniors are going to m for 1st 3mthsj. dotz. i expected none. haha. heard from ks that mostly are going to tpjc 'cuz they cannot get into mj. hmm..haa`~ 3more days before school starts...dot dot`~

take me with you
1:05 PM

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

went to get the stuff for tomorrow's squash bbq this morning. jenny was so damn 'auntie' can. she kept saying things like...:'look for the cheapest' etc. haha. we went to a market place at tampines. yupz and halfway through, we weren't sure about halal stuff so approached a malay lady who was walking behind us. haa. kinda weird. oh well...

went to evelyn's house to play squash. and her house's damn nice man! it's the pink coloured condo beside tp.we can even see the view of the city area from her house! though was quite blur probably 'cuz it's a cloudy and rainy day today. her block isn't covered by other blocks so the reservoir, park etc can be viewed! scenery is superb! and she has a very efficient maid. haha. after squash, we'd lunch prepared by her maid.and we finished more than half of the cookies made by eve's maid along with the chocolates. hee`~

we then had a movie marathon at eve's place. actually we just watched 2 movies.haha.the first was 'white castle'.. haa. it wasn't very nice and couldn't hear what they were saying. worst, the subtitles were completely useless! it didn't tally with what the people were saying and worst, the language was horrendous. haha. its m18 so naturally there were a few censored scenes. the thing is, halfway through that movie, evelyn's uncle came! haa. but luckily whenever he appeared, there wasn't anyway nude scenes. haa second movie was 'uptown girl' which was much nicer and easier to understand as compared to 'white castle'. the subtitles were at it's 'normal' state. hee...and halfway through 'uptown girl', her maid made soup for us after eugena requested. see how efficient?haa..

it has been drizzling the whole day. hope it doesn't rain tomorrow or else the bbq wouldn't be successful. the j2s are coming as well. 8 of them. and we (the j1s) don't really know them and people like eve doesnt even know any seniors. anyway hope it won't be so awkward tomorrow and the squashers won't split into 2 different groups. haa.

going swimming tomorrow morning if it doesn't rain. wee!..

take me with you
12:38 PM

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

my face is like the monkey's ass now.well, almost.haa. got sun-burnt from swimming today!..and the water was like freaking cold!..especially so when there was wind. i was practically shivering in water man...and was even reluctant to even move in water because it was freaking cold!... anyway the esprit at tampines doesnt have the v-necked sweat shirt i saw at causeway point.. wanted to buy other stuff then but didn't.no mood.haa...save money too.

when to tampines library to study organic chem and tell you people something! there was this auntie, probably in her fifties sitting across me.yupz just the 2 of us.well, i think she's pretty weird.she kept looking at my notes and all while there was a book in front of her.anyway she fell asleep after browsing that book.i got pissed la because i was also damn tired and she was like making me even sleepier! oh well now for the climax haha. when she woke up, she actually farted! so damn loud can! and everyone was like looking at her?! haha...and then she started hitting her head and back. zZz`~ real weirdo aint she. haa. she kind of scared me. whaha`~ wanted to borrow a book from danielle steel but guess what? i actually borrowed a book which i've read before! haa... and yes i'm reading that again. anyway it's pretty nice. so i've no objections.hee.but pretty dumb right.haa.oh well...

gotta wake up early tomorrow. yawnzZ...night everyone! <3

take me with you
2:15 PM

Monday, December 27, 2004

i'm feeling guity now.
why?
cuz i did one of the most awful thing i could ever possibly do in my entire lifetime!..

i actually finished half a box of chocolates!!
*makes faces*

going for swimming tomorrow and squash on tuesday!! gonna burn off those extra fats i've accumulated today...yesterday...the day before yesterday etc etc...argHh. but i've 2 bbqs next week.

oh gawd.

gonna get a v-necked sweat shirt tomorrow! finally. but the sweat shirt i saw was at espirit at causeway point!.. hope the tampines branch has it too.

last sunday of 2004.

take me with you
2:37 PM

Sunday, December 26, 2004

1.5hr left for christmas...oh well...haa.

played squash today! haha...yupz..on christmas day. see how enthu i am? haa. had a conflict with zj today. shan't elaborate on what happened but i was pretty firm on my decision regarding our relationship earlier on. hmm...but after he sort of gave in, i couldn't bear to proceed with my decision.yep.couldn't bear to hurt him, though he has hurt me in many other ways.haa.oh well. perhaps when we've another conflict again, i'd carry on with my decision won't hestitate further. ahh...crap. haa. dont know what the heck i'm talking about. oh well... arghhh`~~~ this is driving me insane.

ok super sleepy. oh yea i bought a bag. finally. its beidge. billabong. hmm...quite nice, to me. haha. argh 1 more week before school starts!..i'm not looking forward to it man. he's going genting tomorrow till thursday. haa...wonder how i'll feel during that period...we shall see...

nights world <3

take me with you
3:30 PM

Friday, December 24, 2004

diaoz`~supposed to meet jenny at 10am to collect squash rackets from school but when i reached mj, she sms-ed me saying meeting at 11+. grumpz. when to zj's house then. haa. woke him up before 10. so poor thing. muhaha`~...

met judy and samson later then the 4 of us headed for orchard. judy wanted so much to have tim sum at crystal jade so we'd to wait for more than an hour before we got a table. Zzz`~ the food was ok to me but zj said it's below expectation.haa.whatever.judy went shopping later on while i went to look for a bag and pencil case.couldn't find any of which that caught my eye.grrr.so headed to far east to have that turkeyish ice-cream.or whatever you call that.it wasn't of any fun though.because none of them wanted to 'play' with the ice-cream man.zZz`~sian1/2.

zj and i then went to suntec to look for my bag while judy and samson went back. i was exhausted man!..still can't find a bag which i like.bought a pencil case though. yea. at least i bought something.haha.zZz`~oh ya my sis bought a catfish for like 160 bucks? zZz. anyway, my parents are delighted. haa.

it's jenny's birthday today and christmas eve!~.woo-hoo.

perhaps it's better if i be his god-sister. hmm...

take me with you
6:12 PM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

haa.played against njc today!they sent 4 players and 2 are sec3s! and one of the sec3 is a student of miss tan ngee tiang! woo-hoo. haa. anyway, that girl was damn good and quite cute haa.she started playing since sec1!anyway, jenny and su ern got trashed.eugena was leading but sprained her ankle during the 4th set so njc walked over.bet she'd win if she hadn't injure herself.so i'm the only one who won.haa.but then again, my opponent wasn't that great.haa.2 of the nj gals are superb!was totally stunned by the serves!haa..

went to eat kfc later on.oh dammit.i'd kfc for lunch and dinner yesterday!..i'm going to get fat. arghh. anyway, met those nj peeps again at tm. wanted to catch a movie but there was nothing nice to watch.haa so went to arcade to play air hockey. and accompanied jenny to buy stuff because she wants to make sushi for someone. anyway she's gonna make for us to try this thursday! we're her guinea pigs. haa. can't wait for next week to come. there's squash bbq which is super ex! like 10bucks per person?! lol. if possible gonna ton at su ern's place. hee. oh means school's starting soon...grumpz.

heard a guy from tpjc squash wants my number. and stupid faeez said he was supposed to give it to him yesterday! but decided to be kind and ask me first. grrr. wad crap. anyway, that's crazy. Zzz`~

damn tired manz. now i'm crazy over squash.haa.mad.cant wait for thursday to come!because the guys aren't coming for training so we'll have both courts to ourselves!weee!..

take me with you
12:32 PM

Monday, December 20, 2004

i'm not supposed to feel this way.
i cant feel this way.
and i dont want to feel this way.

cuz i know. it's impossible.

take me with you
2:52 PM

first met him yesterday when he came into the hotel room with his dad.*hand shakes*was surprised he resembles kelvin to a large extent.but he was taller.didn't really bump into him the whole evening but knew he was busy with the registrations and photo takings.

after the wedding had ended, our parents together with the bride and bride groom were busying shaking hands and thanking their guests for attending the wedding.he was bored and wandered around.after most of the guests had left, he asked whether we'd like to take a family photo.mum said we took it earlier on but he insisted it wasn't in his camera.so we took again.he apologised for the flash that covered part of my face! hmpf.then,we took again.hah.

he led us back to the hotel room to collect our stuffs after that.after leaving his mum in the hotel room,he offered to send us down.how gentleman.when we reached level 1,he wanted to take a photo with us.my mum,dad and i.after that, *hand shakes* and he said "see you". realised he is much taller than me.my eye level reaches around his shoulder.haha.was too tired and lazy to lift my head up to have eye contact with him during the hand shake.haa.

so there! he's to report back to camp later. currently serving ns. previously from rjc. 4As and 2 merits for his 's' papers. ahh. dunno what i'm doing. Zzz`~ memorable encounter. => see you. if possible. haa.

take me with you
9:51 AM

Sunday, December 19, 2004

yesterday was my sis's wedding!..hee.

morning:got dragged out of bed around 8.parents were preparing stuff.beautician was here.groom and 'bro' reached around 9 and got kind of 'tortured'.muahaha`~anyway, it was fun!..and sweet => noticed that one of the 'bro' is quite cute.haa.they left for kelvin's(bro-in-law)house at 10.05.mum said they couldn't leave between 9-10am because it'd cause bad luck.lol.

afternoon:had a buffet at home.food was nice!..some relatives and friends came.slacked till 3 then went for make-up and got my hair done.everything was going well when she was doing my hair.after everything,she said it'd look good with some coloured-spray.she was spraying happily when my gown got sprayed!..haa funniest thing was,though i knew what was happening,i was actually stoning.haa.my reaction was super slow.zZ`~anyway,she panicked and quickly used water and soap to remove the purple stain.lucky!=>when to fullerton at 430.

reached around 5 and booked into one of the rooms.my sis and kelvin was in the grand suite.haa.super nice!..got drinks,vodka,tibits! the toilets are very...nice!haa.anyway,helped my sister to do her hair.took super long because she's long hair.Zzz`~and she was super stressed lar because she was late.then lost her temper on kelvin.haa.poor thing.

evening:the ballroom was quite ok lar.but food wasnt nice! they actually dished out every dishes and serve them individually to us!haa..Zzz`~anyway kelvin was damn sweet lar.haa.and his brother,melvin,looks so much like him!speaks like him too.haa.so funny.took pictures after that.hee.

received a lot of compliments just now.haa.frankly speaking,i'm rather amused by others' reaction regarding my appearance yesterday night.haa.anyway, i'm exhausted!..yawn. glad that it's over.haa. =>

take me with you
5:41 PM

Saturday, December 18, 2004

haha!..what a day~!

was supposed to meet faeez at 845am in school to help carry rackets to yck for friendly matches. see how kind i am?haa. but! he forgot to bring the keys! he thought it was inside his wallet, which apparently wasnt! so...he went home at 930! see how dumb? he could have left earlier right? by the way, we were supposed to meet the rest at yck at 945! muhahaha`~ so he reached school by 10 with the cabinet key. took 2 buses and finally a cab to yck. because whenever we wanted to get a cab, there'd always be other people in front of us. lol`~ anyway, we reached yck around 11. haa. alot of people were there! from nyj,tpj,aj and of cos, mj! haa...

first match was against nyj. heard they were pretty good. but we won. haha. unfortunately, we lost to tpjc whom we once trashed.Zzz~~but! there were different players from tpjc today as compared to the previous match. perhaps they got their better players today. because the tpj gal whom i trashed 9-0 wasn't present today.and some other gals as well.haa.anyway, we were quite unsatisfied lar. eugena wants another friendly match with tpjc.whaha`~ we boost their morale today!arghh.oh but they were real nice. they wrote a x'mas card for us thanking us about the friendly matches and gave us candies.haa.so kind...

we are playing against njc next week!..its a home game (meaning the friendly will be held in mjc) and they're good! haha...just hope we don't lose by alot.but still lose right?haa.one good news is that coach won't be present for training on monday! wee!..haa.imma typical slacker!! =>

anyway tomorrow's my sister's wedding! will be held at fulleton. Zzz`` and i have to be usher!no choice. and i'll miss my show at 11pm!..last episode ok!gross. Zzz. m'sian relatives are coming later. haa. my house is going to flood.

http://alice.pandorabots.com/ --> try it! haa.talk to a robot!it does respond.stupidly though.haa.

the hols are coming to an end soon. oh no...

take me with you
1:19 PM

Thursday, December 16, 2004

big boo boo.

the kbox at tampines is so damn sucky man. the service is totally horrid!.. and no lunch when it's supposed to have! same price somemore!...basket.

anyway, such a boring day. have to clear my room by saturday because sis's getting married. and mum says visitors are coming to view our house. arghhhh. not that i dont want to clear but it's almost impossible man. all this while, i've been living in a pig sty. whaha`~ zZz`~

so many stuff to buy...
1. pencil case-mine is dirty and...aiyo.
2. sling bag-one of mine is spoilt
3. something-secret!
4. shoes- for squash.

by the way, i bought a sunglasses few weeks back already! haa.. about the puma jacket, erm...wait till i've enough cash first. haa.

and poor faeez. haa. i'm trying to change my dumb tagboard now but i've no idea how to change it to myshoutbox!..zZz`~ waiting for a kind soul to help me. haha. oh and good news! i've completed my chem and maths holiday assignment! hee.woo-hoo!! *makes faces* bet some people are jealous now. haha!.. lalala`~~ weee!

take me with you
4:27 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2004

sometimes i just cannot stop coughing! help needed. *pi pa gao to the rescue* ok duhz -.-

he wanted to go bedok 85 for lunch but most of the stalls were closed (i thought so and i also thought he knew argh). Zz`~ then went back to central. he wanted to dye his hair but was so damn fussy. spent so long choosing. anyway i helped him to dye. wah the dye stinks like anything. *poof* till now i still can remember how it smells. eeek. by the way that was my first time dying. haha. it turned out...kind of expected for me la. not very obvious but it is under light/sun. its reddish brown ok. not brown. haa.

i'm in fear now. i'm trying not to fall too deep. and i dont want to. 'cos if i were to fall deeper, i know i'll suffer when he goes to ns. haiz. i want to spend more time with him. yet, i'm afraid i'll grow more attached to him. such an irony. damn. perhaps it's better to keep a distance from him. perhaps. wanted to send him off. but his mum and sister all going. guess i wont go. he goes on the 8th and i'll only get to see him 2 weeks later! which is the 24th! *makes faces* hope things go well... Zzz`~

arghh.

take me with you
1:27 PM

Saturday, December 11, 2004

*coughs*

thanks shann for your pi pa gao. whaha`~ many things happened today. though its over...hmm...hee =>

pardon me for my language here.but i need to vent out my frustrations before i can sleep peacefully.

i only think about myself? i'm this i'm that. oh wtf. why are there such people on earth. after they've hurt you so badly, now they want you back. and worst, they say things like i've also hurt them. that its totally unfair that i never give them another chance. that i only think of myself. in short, now i'm the baddie. oh fuck it. get a life can. you chose this path. it was your choice. and raking up the past doesnt help. about our promises. do you expect me to give a damn after you've hurt me so badly? wake up pls! i only think about myself? you should jolly well ask yourself this! now you're saying stuff that just shows how pitiful you were. its not about comparing who's more pitiful ok. neither is it about who's more at fault! dammit. after loving numerous girls...i'm still the one? oo. how great! get a life la. i aint as naive as before! bloody shit. i tried to make things clear in a more pleasant manner but hell! you just cant get simple facts into your head! quit saying how much you've done for me and our past! i dont give a single shitty damn about it ok. quit bugging me about this anymore. as i said, i tried my utmost to salvage it in the past without knowing where the problem lied. so now, i've no regrets.

sorry for being mean ( why the hell am i apologising arghh.) if you're reading this, it's just impossible. quit saying it isnt FAIR. nothing is fair in this world. BYE.

*pooff*

i feel better.

nights world <3

take me with you
5:49 PM

Friday, December 10, 2004

*couggghhhhhhhh*

going to cough out blood soon. arghhhhhhhhhh...

what should i do? just what choice should i make so that i'll not regret in future.

simple-minded is good. but if its to the extreme...its not good.

okay!..

he's plain forgotten me. ok, since when has he remembered me. lol. sigh.

i've truly loved you before. at least there're happy memories of us. thats enough.

27mins to angela's bday! =D

take me with you
3:33 PM

*coughs*

lost my voice. arghhh.

didnt go for training today. felt like i was dying when i woke up this morning.

then jenny msg-ed me to say that we've a friendly match with tpjc next thursday. grrrr.

anyway,i'm bored bored bored.

haiz...

take me with you
3:55 AM

Thursday, December 09, 2004

damn. didnt play pool with leo as intended to due to some dizzy spells and sore throat this morning.

what i had today...
1.fried food.
2.ice cream
3.sofe drinks
4.chocolate
5.chicken rice

hmm. hope my throat doesnt rot. zZ`~

you said its unfair that i didnt give you a second chance? oh c'mon. who gave me another chance then.

someone who caused me to be depressed and aneroxic.
someone who caused me to put my life on the fence.
someone who caused me to cry my heart out for months.
someone who caused me to be miserable for months!

and now...a second chance?

then am i supposed to say, since you brought so much misery to me in the past. so by right i should to you now. is it supposed to be that way?

freak.

really bored. yet i'm too lazy and listless to go out. yawnz. haven't met up with him for 5 days. yet, i'm too tired to be bothered.

just realised, i've no idea how to love somebody. yet.

take me with you
1:42 PM

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

didnt blog for a few days. haha. been feeling lethargic and listless these past few days. i'm just so tired. arghzz`~

ehh cant recall what happened these past few days lar. haa.

tired.

some things are just too late. once you've missed it. its gone forever.

supposed to study today but shannon teo kept talking to me. so its considered not productive today. grumpz. shall start working my butt off soon. i hope.

but so tired. zZ`..

stupid squash training. ran 2.4 in the rain. poor thing right. haha.

tired.

besides feeling restless, the past few days were ok i suppose. lol.

shall end here. tired.

take me with you
4:04 PM

Thursday, December 02, 2004

our story has continued...

that's his decision. for me, i'm fine with both.
cos i dont feel anything right now. and i cant explain why.
i'm not sure whether i've made the absolute decision.
but i certainly won't place high hopes as compared to the past.

hmm.

i went swimming with adeline yesterday at downtown. saw lifeguard. thats the name i've given him. though he's about the same height as me somehow, i've to admit that i'd a mere infatuation on him yesterday. what do you call that. crush at first sight? haha. i suppose he saw me as well.

went to buy lunch and on the way back to chalet, i guess he'd just finished his duty and was coming down the stairs when we saw each other. we both turned back at the same time. eye-contact. wanted to laugh because was kind of excited but i was alone. people would have thought i was insane.

hmm.

if we're fated we'll meet again. yea.

lifeguard.

after so long, i experienced that feeling again yesterday.
part of me hopes that he knows i'm from mj as i was wearing the house tee yesterday.

-ponders-

still, i'm thankful to god for that instant but memorable encounter.
shall not think about it again. i hope.

take me with you
3:13 PM

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

i'm helping to ease your pain. yet, you're saying things like you dont wish to let go and stuff like that. i'm sorry but i'm unable to withstand all these hesitants. i've finally found the courage to set you free.

but why...

why are you acting in this way.

the more you drag, the more i'm unable to let you go.

so...please.

just leave.

I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find
her. hope someday you'll see that the true love you're looking for was the one who set you free.

take me with you
7:56 PM

went to justin's chalet today.woohoo.was niceeee!really missed those 'old' times at ccs.wished i could turn back time.anyway, glad to see them again.hope everyone's doing well!oh and i uploaded some photos already.feel free to view them ok?hee.

10mths.

that's how long it can last.

he was always with me. for the past 10mths. its time i get on my feet individually. no more dependency. but i need time to kick off that "habit."

the happy times we'd were great.

but the unhappy ones...really hurts.

it's better this way.
for both of us.
hope it brings no regret.

i wish you all the best. thanks for the memories. be it bad or good. at least once in our life, our path once crossed.

it started on 1 feb 2004. and it ended on 1 dec 2004.

take me with you
7:16 PM